I wasn't born an expat spouse (obviously), nor was I a third culture kid. Having been through many expat spouse resource and help pages, I thought I should hop onto the bandwagon and write about my own thoughts about this phenomenon, based on my own experiences. For selfish reasons, I'm hoping that once I have immortalized these thoughts in a blog, I would stop sounding like a war veteran who can't stop talking about my battle wounds and glory days. This is my reality now and I will try to get as much as I can out of this experience.
I have lived in 3 different countries the past 6 years. Denmark, Kenya, back to Denmark and now Nicaragua. We never know where we'll go to next until 3 months or if we're lucky 6 months before our current post is over. It could be anywhere or Denmark again as homebase to await a new post.
Let me briefly outline my pre-expat spouse existence:
1. Born in the Philippines
2. Grew up in a hard working upper middle (don't read too much into this as there are many social classes in the Philippines, specially in middle class) class family
3. Finished university majoring in Economics
4. Worked in various industries i.e. Automobile, Logistics, IT (EDI, ASP, MSP, BPO) in different capacities as Sales Representative, Business Unit Head, Sales & Marketing Manager, Business Development Manager, Marketing Consultant and Advisor
5. In 2002, before I left, I received 2 very tempting offers; to run a subsidiary as Country Manager and a Regional Management Position.
Before anyone misconstrues this as anything than stating facts about myself, I am inclined to believe that like many expat spouses out there who has experienced a rewarding career that contribute to feelings of independence in pre-expat spouse life, has had a hard time adjusting to this new life. I did.
Although I have done a lot of work related and leisure travels during those times, I have lived my whole life in the Philippines without any thought of moving elsewhere. Why should I? My support group was close by (family and friends), I had my own money and can therefore do practically what I wanted, time permitting. I was in my comfort zone.
What happened? I fell in love. At the onset, I've made it known to T (as he was a foreigner in my country) that I don't plan to migrate to any other country especially his (cold, dark half the time and expensive are just not my cup of tea). T was working for a private Danish / Filipino company at that time as part of top management and having an open employment contract that he can renew anytime meant we were staying put.
By Filipino standards, I married late. I met T when I was 31, 2 years later at 33, I succumbed to marital bliss. My family was pleasantly surprised to say the least. They thought I never would even if they secretly wished I would someday. 4 years into the relationship, T's viking heritage kicked in. He wanted to experience more sans the pillaging, burning villages and raping virgins. He wanted more challenges from work and feeling philanthropic wanted to try working in the public sector. Uh, I thought the other way around was more the norm, mid-career crisis perhaps, whatever. I was in my elements when he came up with that suggestion (more a rant, really)....I just got pirated by a multinational company tripling my previous contract, and the perks, the perks...talk about timing!
I have lived in 3 different countries the past 6 years. Denmark, Kenya, back to Denmark and now Nicaragua. We never know where we'll go to next until 3 months or if we're lucky 6 months before our current post is over. It could be anywhere or Denmark again as homebase to await a new post.
Let me briefly outline my pre-expat spouse existence:
1. Born in the Philippines
2. Grew up in a hard working upper middle (don't read too much into this as there are many social classes in the Philippines, specially in middle class) class family
3. Finished university majoring in Economics
4. Worked in various industries i.e. Automobile, Logistics, IT (EDI, ASP, MSP, BPO) in different capacities as Sales Representative, Business Unit Head, Sales & Marketing Manager, Business Development Manager, Marketing Consultant and Advisor
5. In 2002, before I left, I received 2 very tempting offers; to run a subsidiary as Country Manager and a Regional Management Position.
Before anyone misconstrues this as anything than stating facts about myself, I am inclined to believe that like many expat spouses out there who has experienced a rewarding career that contribute to feelings of independence in pre-expat spouse life, has had a hard time adjusting to this new life. I did.
Although I have done a lot of work related and leisure travels during those times, I have lived my whole life in the Philippines without any thought of moving elsewhere. Why should I? My support group was close by (family and friends), I had my own money and can therefore do practically what I wanted, time permitting. I was in my comfort zone.
What happened? I fell in love. At the onset, I've made it known to T (as he was a foreigner in my country) that I don't plan to migrate to any other country especially his (cold, dark half the time and expensive are just not my cup of tea). T was working for a private Danish / Filipino company at that time as part of top management and having an open employment contract that he can renew anytime meant we were staying put.
By Filipino standards, I married late. I met T when I was 31, 2 years later at 33, I succumbed to marital bliss. My family was pleasantly surprised to say the least. They thought I never would even if they secretly wished I would someday. 4 years into the relationship, T's viking heritage kicked in. He wanted to experience more sans the pillaging, burning villages and raping virgins. He wanted more challenges from work and feeling philanthropic wanted to try working in the public sector. Uh, I thought the other way around was more the norm, mid-career crisis perhaps, whatever. I was in my elements when he came up with that suggestion (more a rant, really)....I just got pirated by a multinational company tripling my previous contract, and the perks, the perks...talk about timing!
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