When expat life really sucks

Borrowing the title from a forum on Expat-blog, which I'm a member of, is used here in a different context. In Expat-blog, it's answering a question a member put forth about how you pull yourself out of it...if and when it does, by your own definition of suck!

It only sucks right now for me because I'm sick with the flu. In the Philippines, we call it 'trangkaso'. It's when on top of a high fever your bones ache too...you ache all over. My head is pounding and I don't have the strength to do anything much less type.

I felt it coming last Friday but still managed to party this Saturday which, of course, only made it worse.

I'm the healthiest or strongest in the family. I seldom get sick...I can't afford to get sick. I take care of the sick in this family...the way my grandmother did in ours. I miss her.

I somehow knew I had it coming what with the hot (Cartagena) - cold (Bogota) - hot (Nicaragua) changes that I have just been through. Thank goodness, T & V hasn't got it but if it is what it is (trangkaso), then it doesn't leave the house until it has gone through everyone in it.

It doesn't help that my empleada cannot come today also, some problems of her own just right after taking a 10 day vacation while we were away. My problems are my problems and her problems are mine. She doesn't work when we're away and therefore has only been working half the year last year (that's how much I've been away from here).

It sucks when:

1. You're sick
2. The kitchen looks like hell and there's nothing you can do about it
3. You write people back home and you don't hear a peep
4. You still have to cook
5. I miss my grandmother
6. You have to do your son's lunch pack and food hoping he doesn't pick up whatever it is you've got. But you've got to do it anyway
7. Hubby tries to do so much but has got his own challenges
8. I miss my grandmother
9. You want to be pampered but there's just no one to do it to you - well not in the way my grandmother did
10. I miss my grandmother's chicken soup
11. You live on peanut butter as that's the only strength you have for
12. A friend calls you to say...'get a blood test, it could be dengue'
13. You're sick and alone and still have to think about dinner

Lucky weather Bs

That's what we were according to M with regards to the weather in Bogota while we were there which of course made it all the more great for us tourist folks. Imagine, cool fresh breeze, clean, crisp air, clear blue skies and strong sun - just divine. It was apparently some kind of a fluke as it has been raining before we came and look like this after we left...well, today at least.

Thanks M for the photos that included this message:

"This is how our deck looks this afternoon after the hailstorm. I told you, don´t be fooled by the lovely weather of Bogota while you were here. You were damn so lucky."

Damn right we were (chuckle)!

The Nielsens in Bogota

It's so common to promise to visit and see each other at post while saying goodbye in a previous post knowing full well that the likelihood of it happening is very slim. Such is expat life. One gets jaded when it comes to friendship. You meet people on the same boat, heck, you're thrown together and cling to each other like lifeboats...and then you say goodbye.

More than promise, we threaten (:-)) people that we'd drop by for a visit and almost always make good on it. And that's exactly what we did to the Nielsens (chuckle-chuckle). We've known L since 2002 back in the Philippines and less than a year later M. L was instrumental in the logistics of our move to Denmark and therefore kept in touch and every now and then see each other in Denmark.

They were our hosts in Bogota and wonderful hosts at that. They were still as good fun as they were back then except L makes the dandiest cocktail concoctions and M now cooks! And she proved that by singlehandedly (almost, as L only did a bit of frying but then he had his hands full making savory cocktails) making a 4-course Thai dinner. Absolutely divine, if I may add. The lady can really cook....now - that's what expatriation does to you.

Single career women in the Philippines don't (or don't bother to) cook. There's just too many good but relatively cheap restaurants to go to and most importantly after a hard day's work, too many hardworking friends to see and party with. That's Manila for you. Besides, there's probably so much traffic during rush hour on your way home that it's better to meet-up with like-minded friends for some cocktails and light meal in the business district anyway. Such was my life too before I married T, no make that before I moved to Denmark with T, except that I went straight home from work, which would be around 10 in the evening anyway - too late for happy hour - have tooootally digressed, again (why do I do that).

Anyway, they tolerated (wink) us for 5 days in their flat atop Cerros de Sta Barbara overlooking the city and the mountains surrounding it. The view is precious and the area very convenient for shopping as 10 minutes walk takes you to a couple of huge malls and a big Carrefour Chévere (which as far as I understand Colombia is peppered with).

They've been very congenial hosts and it was great to see them. In less than a couple of weeks, they will be moving to their next post in Shanghai and we're glad to have spent time with them before they did.

Bogota, the third highest city in the world is cold and dry but very green and somehow reminds me of some places in Europe. Five days in Bogota again wasn't enough. So many things to do, places to see and when you come from where I am now, shops to visit. We did our best but missed some must-dos, which is for another post.

Volcan de Lodo El Totumo, Cartagena

How much would a therapeutic mud bath with full body massage and a personal 'bather' (if there's such a word) that will make sure that the mud is washed off every imaginable crevice of your body - if you allow them- thrown in, cost in a spa? Oh add a personal photographer who takes photos of you at your bidding and as many as your memory card can hold (you don't want your camera muddy, do you?).

Not much, in Cartagena, that is.

Note: No children were hurt in this activity

The massage can last from anywhere between 20 mins to whenever you want and in reality, you can even stay as long as you want in the crater.

This I would really recommend all visitors do. It was such a funny, weird and mind boggling albeit relaxing experience. Before jumping in (no, you don't jump in - you'll be splashing mud on everyone...and that's just rude - guffaw), flashes of 'this must be how it feels drowning in quicksand, only smoother' crossed my mind but then I already saw T & V and a lot of others laughing, yet miraculously not drowning...so, what the heck.

The locals say that the crater is over 200 meters deep but due to the density of the mud, it is more a struggle to sink than to float (my legs kept floating up someone else's nose).

Now, for practical matters:

The tour costs 35,000 Pesos per person (roughly $20) and included hotel pick-up and return (van) lunch at a beach somewhere halfway between Ciudad Antigua and the Volcano (I didn't get the name of the beach) of fish, rice, salad and the usual corn cake(?) with melted cheese inside. It took about 50 minutes to an hour to get to Totumo from Ciudad Antigua. I guess we were lucky that we were just 6 in a van for 12 people including the driver as we managed to stretch out and sleep after the mud bath and massage on the way to the beach and afterwards.

The locals in Totumo make their living on tips. It is customary to give anywhere between 2,000 - 3,000 Pesos = roughly $ 1.00 - 1.50 (some give 1,000 = $0.50 ) for each person that has done some service. Ex (ours):

1. The camera guy (1)
2. The male masseuse (2) - there is after all T, V & myself
3. The bañadoras (bathers) (3) - one for each of us
4. The slippers / shoes guy (1) - right...he makes sure you get the right pair and he just knows which belongs to whom. From the miniature volcano, he would follow you down to the lake with your feet accoutrement, make it ready for you and waiting on the bank when you're done bathing. I thought mine miraculously appeared until I saw him deliver T's and V's. He does it each time he sees someone leaving the volcano for the lake. Remember that the mud renders you unrecognizable...talent, pure talent.

In total, I guess we really didn't spend more than $40 each. We got picked-up at 8:30 am and got back at 3:00 pm - a whole day's trip nonetheless and still had time to jump in the pool at the hotel before happy hour beckoned. Not bad.

I'm glad we chose this over a day trip to Rosario and neighboring islands of mainland Cartagena reputed to have fine white beaches and clear blue water. As I mentioned in an earlier post, we got so relaxed and complacent that the days went by so fast that before we knew it, it was time to go. Besides, we just came from Little Corn, are scheduled to dive in Roatan, Honduras this May, cruise the Bahamas this summer, visit San Andres in the very near future and if we really get lucky, explore the Galapagos (maybe next year, let's see), then I guess...a beach is a beach is a beach. Okay, I managed to convince myself there but I still secretly wish that we could have done both.

This goes in my bucket list.

Ciudad Antigua, Cartagena

We were lucky that our hotel is inside Ciudad Antigua (why we were recommended to stay there in the first place) as more than anything else, you go to Cartagena to see this place and therefore had the leisure of exploring to our hearts' content - we loved being there so much (and in the hotel) we missed some must-sees (sigh). We took it really easy and just relaxed...dog knows we needed it especially T.

I was literally transported back in time. From the time of the 'Conquistadores', when the women would walk the streets with their parasols up to the time of the drug cartels when people wore breezy white linen and cotton with their panama hats - think: Antonio Banderas' 'Original Sin' (although, the setting was Cuba, it could very well have been Ciudad Antigua - or was it?). It's another world (I really should stop watching period movies).

If it's fine dining you want then it'll have to be inside Ciudad Antigua, most restaurants are situated within the fortress of the 'city' and that's when dining becomes not only a culinary experience (all cuisine is represented) but expensive. Again, given the quality, ambiance and the service...it's worth it. Worth it to you or not as taste is relative, you're really not given much of a choice...you've just got to fork it out.

T and I who are suckers for good deals, found ourselves a restaurant bar called Tamarindo that probably serves the only 'happy hour' (buy one take one) drinks within the 'city'. Real Cuba Libre (with Cuban Rhum plus coke), 2 for around 5,00 Pesos = less than $3.00. It was fortunate that we did as the restaurant serves very good authentic Mediterranean and Caribbean cuisine. The owner is from Spain (Barcelona, I think), Ferrán Vergés who has (semi) retired in Colombia. Highly recommended restaurant serving good food at reasonable prices - by Cartagena standards - and excellent service. Don't miss their Spinach wrap, it's exquisite.

Ciudad Antigua at night is alive with various entertainment, shops, artesania markets and of course, restaurant and bars pulsing with Latino and Caribbean music that lends a festive atmosphere.

If you absolutely have to bring something back (for the women) I suggest you buy the breezy white/beige summer dresses, skirts and blouses sold both in the shops in Ciudad Antigua and the market in Bocagrande. These are made of pure Colombian cotton and sold anywhere between $ 35 - 80 - light, breezy, extremely feminine, figure flattering and simple but classy. The artsy bracelets and necklaces made of beads and semi-precious stones maybe a bit cliche-ish but you can sure find ingenious and quite unique designs mixed with silver and leather- between $12 - 100 and sometimes more depending on materials, stones and design. Most importantly, haggle. Haggle, haggle, haggle! They won't get offended and you can actually bring it down to a price which you think is fair. If not, an 'esta bien, no tengo dinero suficiente' with a smile would get you a sympathetic look with a half smile that means it's ok you can go on your way...maybe next time.

Although we were in Cartagena in the week of Semana Santa (just...but not yet) where prices have already been increased in anticipation of the coming of the tourists and hawkers abound, I didn't really feel bothered as these people (hawkers - wearing uniforms with numbers on) are not as persistent as the hawkers in Asia. They leave you alone after a 'no, gracias', again, delivered with a smile. There were in fact already a lot of tourists when we got there but mostly Colombians coming from Bogota and other areas in Colombia that actually made the ambiance naturally festive and less touristic.

As for the emeralds Colombia is known to produce a lot of, you would be better off buying in Bogota.

The hawkers on the beach in Bocagrande were harder to get rid of specially those offering massage, tour packages and beach chairs.

Cartagena de Indias, Colombia

Well deserving of being a UNESCO World Heritage Site, Cartagena de Indias is steeped with history. In Cartagena, one can experience the modern offerings of Boca Grande, with its tall office buildings and high rise condominium living with ocean view and the old world that is Ciudad Antigua. The restaurants in Boca Grande are mostly fastfood with a sprinkling of fine dining restaurants. I found Cartagena generally expensive especially when ordering seafood but the quality of food and the service can very well convince you why that is.

We stayed in Ciudad Antigua, as recommended by L and he sure knows what he was talking about. Ciudad Antigua should be experienced in romantic splendor (forgive the drama queen - I felt like renewing my vows while there) as suggested by the interiors, surrounding architecture and service of Hotel Sofitel Sta. Clara.This hotel used to be a Monastery during the Spanish occupation with the layout of the inner building (the hotel expanded around it) virtually unchanged and where one can still see some of the original walls from that era (1700s).

One does pay a premium visiting a world heritage site but I'm sure it can be done cheaper as Cartagena has a lot to offer travelers on different budgets. Regardless of offering, every accomodation in Ciudad Antigua is expensive because of maintenance and restoration costs - they do have a standard to uphold - so, for those who want to spend less, there are many hotels and private rentals in Bocagrande that are just a tad cheaper (if you want beachfront view, then you pay the price too). Staying some 10 - 15 minutes away by cab from these 2 places, I think brings the rent down, but I'm just guessing. Cab is cheap (we took a 20 minute cab ride for 8,000 Pesos, roughly $4 or no more than 5) but needs to be negotiated before hand.

Nevertheless, be ready to shell out some hard earned cash to really experience the place.