Social and Cultural issue plaguing Nicaragua

The 3 things I vowed to not write about in this blog are my opinions on Politics, Religion and Critical comments about my host country. The last one I can write under the veil of observations and personal experiences that has directly affected my stay here (ex. Shopping Nicaraguan style). Even so, it will come out critical to those who want to see it as such even if written in the most constructive manner.

So, I'll just get right on with it - the first 2 I still hold sacred.

I have been very thankful to have found M, our 'empleada' who is more than just that. She's smart, loyal, honest and most importantly, she 'reads' me. We consider ourselves very lucky because we know of many who has had bad luck in finding good help. She's not our first. When we first came we took over T's predecessor's help, paid her 3 times the norm - because we didn't know better and just followed what she had been receiving before. Turned out that she could hardly care less about her work, insisted to do things the way her previous employer wanted them done - which was not much as her previous employer was a single guy (his wife went back home with their kids) who only came home for dinner and lived in the office more than his own home - had an affair with one of our 'vigilantes' (hard to deny as they were caught in a very compromising situation) and took off with a couple of my dresses.

Then came M and everything was alright again in my world. But this is not just about househelp, it is about what I have observed about the Nicaraguan women mostly belonging to the lower economic strata of society (official surveys will show you that it happens in other levels as well).

M who is 22 and not married has a 4 year old son (you do the math). He is very sickly (respiratory) and is in the hospital or is sick at home at least once a week. M lives with us by choice and leaves her son to be taken cared of by her mother. The father who 's a neighbor doesn't want to have anything to do with her and her baby (her own words) and therefore cannot expect child support from him. Fine. She has a good salary, comparable to that of entry level white collar worker (each industry dictates different minimum wage benchmarks) and therefore can independently take care of her son financially, but just barely as she gives a big chunk of her salary to her parents household expenses.

We've learned a lot of important lessons dealing with Y (our first empleada). Part of M's contract with us states that she will have to agree to be insured with INSS (their national pension and medical care plan). Most domestic helps don't want to do that as, of the total 26% premium monthly, based on salary, the 'empleado' gets a deduction of 6.25% while the employer takes care of the rest. Y, like many others in this country, would rather keep the money than gamble on government promises.

INSS would guarantee access to necessary health care, discounted drugs and emergency medical services for her and her dependents and receive pension when she retires. Does it help her with her son's health problems? No, because the son has his father's last name which she doesn't carry. She opted for his 'apellido' in the hopes that it would influence his decision to be involved. It obviously did not work. I have advised her to change her son's last name to hers as the father has practically renounced them both. This is where we are at the moment, until...

She came to me this morning to tell me (nonchalantly) that she is pregnant. The first thing I said was, congratulations, followed by, 'are there going to be big changes, like moving in with your child's father, rest from work to...maybe get married, etc.'. As nonchalantly as she has announced her pregnancy she said: 'no changes, it's not the same guy and he doesn't want to have anything to do with me or the baby, but that's ok because I will not see him, he doesn't live in our neighborhood. I will only need the mandatory 1 month vacation after giving birth and then my mother will take care of the baby. So, don't worry, no changes'.

I think my world spun more than hers - if hers ever did at finding out about her pregnancy....which I highly doubt. What was scary to me was that she did not even pause to think about her answer, like it was the most natural thing in the world. Talk about a vicious cycle. The act of sex is a natural thing but without giving thought to its consequences is more than a tad irresponsible.

Y, on the otherhand is in her late 40s, married and has children in their 30's (another math). The vigilante she was having an affair with is in his 50s equally married with grown-up children.

To say that Latinos are passionate certainly applies to Nicaragua. There is a pervasive undercurrent of sexuality in the country. M and Y are both case in points. It of course, takes 2 to tango. Take our driver A, for example. He is 28 and single and openly tells us about his 3 girlfriends, one in Miami and 2 here in Managua. He has recently borrowed money from us and requested for a letter that would facilitate a bank loan for him. He sadly informed us that he's getting married because one of his girlfriends here in Managua is pregnant. I wanted very much to ask him if he's going to stop seeing the 2 others...I think i'll wait until after the wedding.

There are other examples:

- It is not uncommon to see young people in malls 'making out'. Young is as young as 12 and making out is as in 'get a room'.

- My friend P who is having a finca (farm) constructed an hour away from Managua has experienced delays in moving into her house because she lost a good engineer. The engineer who is in his late 30s impregnated a 14 year old girl from the area. Her being underage and his being married was not even the problem, after all, he is a big shot city guy...at least that's how her parents saw him. The problem started when they requested to increase the allowance she has been receiving from him. He fled and never came back.

- How about the time when my good friend F's daughter (she's 13) received a video (email) of a male classmate sexually relieving himself. He in fact sent it to everyone in his class. When the news reached the principal, he got 1 day suspension.

- Another Asian lady friend got threatened to be sued by her vigilante's wife for allegedly allowing the vigilante and her empleada's affair to flourish right under her nose. It didn't matter that she had no inkling about it until of course the girl got pregnant.

- Or the well documented story of a foreigner who took up with a 17 year old, who has a 2 yr old child from a previous relationship and pregnant with another man's baby. The relationship started innocently enough but ended really sadly.

- I know of many empleadas in their 40s employed by friends who have teen-age daughters with more than 1 kid. Others in their 30s with school age grandchildren (same math).

I could go on and on but let me just punctuate this by some other articles I found on the net that you can read here , here and here.

Some would argue that the articles above are outdated. Let me assure you that it can still be felt and seen up to today here in Nicaragua.

To conclude. I am sad for M but mostly disappointed. She is a smart, strong woman whom I thought could be a role model on getting back on one's feet. I sent her back to school while working with us to finish her secondary education and had high hopes of her continuing on to a better life and be able to give her son a better future, thus breaking the cycle. Selfishly, it would have been personally gratifying to know that I have left an impact on her life and have helped change it for the better. One person at a time.